LONDON

A beautiful place with amazing weather and very cheerful people....... I take that back, well it is a beautiful place, but the people?  Na. I don t think so. Let's talk about the weather. Boy is it horrible. LOL. WEATHER in London.is best described as a woman in her period,, a psychotic man with Daddy issues or just a clearly stupid individual confused as to what direction to take in life.
In summary, the Weather in London is BiPolar Anyway here are my things not to do when you are living in London more so when you just move here from a place as nice as California

1.Do not smile on the Underground, I repeat do not SMILE on the Underground cos no one cares.
On the underground, (subway or metro as it is called in other parts of the world) every one seems to have a goal which  is "mind my business and keep a long face". It is almost like there is a prize to be awarded for who frowns the most and the funny part is 99% of the time these individuals have no purpose in life no sense of direction, no where to go but hey no one knows if you don't tell right?

Dunno why they are all in shorts?

2.) What we call summer.
What we call summer here might be referred to as 'anonymous confusion in the clouds' When they say summer, try not to dress like it is actually sunny because it is a farce. the sun might be out at 9.am, rain at 9.23 am.Snowflakes at 9.30 am., and yeah you know the drill. It almost feels like the clouds are so anxious to exhibit their versatility. It wants to show itself at every point in time, therefore flaunts all four seasons in one day "just cos it can" You know. Sometimes it makes it more complicated and gives all four season at once, So its rainy, sunny, wind,y grey at the same damn time. Now if you ask me that is real talent. To end this i will say London or more broadly the UK's weather is highly talented.

she's a little bit ready for what is to come..

I promise you in her bag she's got knee high wellies, a raincoat, ear muffs, a mac and probably wool hats.
There are so many more things you should not do in London, I might come across as a sadist :(. but hey im just a good friend, lol

3.) Assumption is the biggest mistake.
 Assuming as an act of kindness will only get you insulted, spat on or sometimes slapped, lol  OK I exaggerate, but seriously whilst on the train do not assume you know the state of someone standing in front of you. Let me explain. If you see a woman with an extremely Long or huge belle, do not assume she's pregnant or needs a seat, cos more often that not she just had two buckets of wings and a zinger meal, IMO she is in some way pregnant (of chicken obvs) but she would not see it that way and end up going ham on you. A woman that looks frail and old does not want to be reminded of her ticking clock, so if you offer her a seat it is at your peril. In my opinion do not give up your seat at all whether they are older or younger except of course the police asks you too :) Enjoy it cos you might never get to seat again on the train,

Yea i bet she refused a seat too and ended falling over on that innocent man

I hope this helps on your decision to move to London and prepares you for what is to come. :). As ta la vista babies